


Dreaming Darker

by Freeza, twinflamedfest



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angel/Demon Relationship, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Mild Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:24:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freeza/pseuds/Freeza, https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinflamedfest/pseuds/twinflamedfest
Summary: If I could have him like this in my dreams every night of my life, I'd stake my entire life on dreams and be done with the rest.- Andre AcimanThe contact through the mysterious bond was like rain on dry ground. Greedily he had taken all in he had been given in that precious dream. But now his appetite was whetted. It wasn't enough. He needed to see that person again. Feel the proximity again. The almost electric static between them. Who were they?





	Dreaming Darker

 

 

  **DREAMING DARKER**

 

 

_If I could have him like this in my dreams every night of my life, I'd stake my entire life on dreams and be done with the rest._

\- Andre Aciman

 

 

~*~

 

** DREAM ONE **

 

They met in a dream. A deep dream, filled with shadows and mist. A whisper sneaked into their ears. It was beyond comprehension or understanding, but comforting. A veil was in front of their eyes, muffling their senses, cocooning their conscience. But they were still aware. Aware of that other presence that seemed to wait just a step ahead but unreachable all the same. They could feel rather than hear each other's breath, far more alive than that of a demon or angel should be. Their hearts seemed to beat for the first time in forever.

They didn't know who the other was, yet still they recognized each other. There was a connection. They didn't understand it and it frightened them for they realized that a discovery of what tingled in between them would lead to their ruin in both of their worlds. After waking up they wouldn't talk about it to anyone. Keep it a secret, bury it in their hearts. Desiring but fearing to be in each other's presence again.

They never attempted to sever or alter the bond. They only let it grow. Despite the doubts. Despite the fear. But it seemed too precious. Too important. Too fulfilling. Something about the void in their hearts compelled them to revel in the feeling of another soul caught in loneliness, in longing. A sentiment so powerful and universal, that it was housed in both the cores of a damned demon of hell and a holy angel of heaven.

Never mind the peace and tranquility of the world above. It had always felt hollow and stale to Luhan. Something was wrong. Something was missing. Something important. He couldn't remember what it was, but the lack was always there.

Never mind the passion and power of the world below. It had always felt unsatisfying and empty to Sehun. Something wasn't right. Something was not enough. Something he desired. He couldn't remember what it was, but the yearning was always there.

So when they met, in that first, deep dream, they recognized each other. Not as angel, not as demon, but as the soul that they had missed, that they had longed for. They couldn't touch, they couldn't speak. But they felt more at ease than in the many millennia they had spent apart.

_Apart..._

Apart...?

Yes, apart.

They also recognized that with certainty. They had met before. Somewhere, somehow. It was no coincidence for them to be connected this way. If only they understood where and how. And why.

They wanted to fight through the thick smoke, the veil that muffled the dream, to speak, to see, to touch. But before either of them could reach out, they woke up. And their reality had never seemed so cold, so dull before.

 

 

~*~

 

 

** DREAM TWO **

 

 

Luhan began to hate heaven. He wanted to scream, to shout, rip out the feathers from his wings with bare hands until the blood would stain and blacken them. He wanted to throw himself down to crash hard on earth's surface. He wouldn't care about everlasting damnation, everlasting pain and scorn, if he could only stay with the being he had met in his dream. That familiar being.

But he didn't know where to find that soul. It could be here in heaven, on Earth, in hell even. He could search the heavens. But wouldn't he have found that person already in the many, many years he had spent here? He also couldn't just visit Earth and start looking without a good reason. And an ominous soul mate met in a dream wouldn't count as such. Especially not for an angel that was supposed to be free from all such attachments and desires. And he'd never be able to search the whole planet before he would have to return. And hell...? Even if he were allowed, he wouldn't be able to go anywhere near there. The demons would slay him on sight.

The uncertainty rattled Luhan's being. In the past he had pondered on the void in him but without available answers and clues he had written it off as part of the natural state of being an angel. He had never told anyone else about his feelings as peace of mind was what every angel around him felt. Should feel. Nobody ever let on to be less than an embodiment of godly illumination. No one ever came forth and challenged the notion. So Luhan was forced to assume himself as part of the heavenly standard, but knowing deep down that something was wrong, deficient, about him. Seeing his void answered with longing after such a long time was frightening. As an angel he was supposed to be beyond space and time, yet he knew exactly how long he had waited for this moment.

The void in him had grown over time ever since he first felt it inside him after waking up as an angel for the first time. Back then the ache of its glaring lack was almost physically palpable but after ready suppression of this undesirable quirk, some of that peace of mind came to him, that everyone around him seemed to have no problem with maintaining. But the void never truly left.

The contact through the mysterious bond was like rain on dry ground. Greedily he had taken all in he had been given in that precious dream. But now his appetite was whetted. It wasn't enough. He needed to see that person again. Feel the proximity again. The almost electric static between them. Who were they?

Luhan needed to find them. Consequences be damned. A forgotten sense of separation clawed at him. It wasn't enough anymore – the waiting, the peace, the patience, the control – it all wasn't enough for Luhan anymore.

 

 

~*~

 

 

** DREAM THREE **

 

 

Sehun began to resent hell. It was somewhat of a surprise, but... not really. He had enjoyed the pleasures his hellish existence offered, had reveled in the passions brought forth within him, but as deeply as he tried to indulge himself, it had never been enough to truly fulfill him. It had been fun at first, it had been easy to ignore, as the distractions were bountiful and creative. But after centuries upon centuries of ignoring, of distracting, of enjoying, there was no surprise left to keep him entertained.

While hell around him kept on convulsing, pleasing and responding around him, he just stood there amidst perversion and passion and felt absolutely nothing. No joy, no curiosity, no pleasure. His bright, eager world has dulled around him at an increasing speed and now there was nothing left.

He shouldn't feel that way, he knew. All devils and demons around him enjoyed their existence just as much as they did before, many of them for longer than Sehun had and yet he had never heard anyone mention any lack. They were satisfied. He should be feeling the same way. Instead he was hollow. Hollow, but restless. After that dream.

That dream. He had known the other entity. He didn't know from where and how but he was certain he had met that person before. And he knew it was real. No hellish dream ever left one unsatisfied but this one had. It was not a product of the realm Sehun dwelled in. It must have originated from Earth, perhaps, or even... heaven...?

Sehun closed his eyes, trying to drown out the moans and screams around him. Desperately he tried to recall the tingle he had felt in his chest, the sensation of that other person, reaching out to him as he did to them. It was the first true excitement Sehun had felt in ages. He had wanted more, so much more, but he couldn't move forward. His senses had been stunted, his mind slowed. There were so many things he had wanted to ask, but hadn't been able to.

Sehun remembered the echo of a move in his direction. There had been a certain gracefulness to it, a sense of peace and dignity, that he hadn't observed anywhere on Earth. The connection... it was to someone in heaven. Sehun was sure of it. It filled him with pride to figure out that much, as he had no one he could dare to consult on such a matter, but at the same it frustrated him more than anything else. Heaven! He'd never be able to get there, not even close. His wings wouldn't even carry him. And even if they did, he couldn't just leave hell. As for all the passion and  unlimited freedom they preached and felt down here, it was more a cage than anything else.

He had to meet this person again. Sehun knew he was supposed to hate and despise the empty creatures that called themselves angels, but considering how empty he felt at the moment, it was hard for him to hate anything at all. Whether the angel would be willing to indulge in a dream with him again – indulge at all – was another matter entirely, but Sehun had to try. And he would try to rekindle the bond between them. He wanted to understand it. He wanted to know its origins. He wanted to see the person he was so intimately bound to. Wanted to feel them, hear them, touch them.

Utter fulfillment, true pleasure, real passion. They were dangling in front of his nose but impossible for him to reach and it nearly drove him insane. But he indulged in it anyway. He didn't know what else he could have done. Indulging was all he knew.

 

 

~*~

 

 

** DREAM FOUR **

 

 

“I can feel you,” spoken by muffled, warped voice was the first thing Luhan's senses registered when a new dream began. A brief onslaught of joy  overwhelmed him and he couldn't answer. He felt the presence again. He felt the connection again. Like an addict, experiencing another rush. Then... uncertainty. There was a voice now...

“Can you feel me, too?” the voice asked. It was soft, deep, with a subtle tremble. Luhan took a shaky breath. It was so pleasant to listen to. He knew the voice, but it was so long ago since he last heard it, that he might as well have listened to it for the first time.

“Yes, I feel you,” Luhan whispered. As he spoke his words, he could feel them getting sucked out of his mouth and stringing along the bond that connected him to the other while getting contorted by the crushing distance between them. Every word became more exhausting to pronounce. But that didn't keep him from continuing. “I know you.”

“I know you as well,” the voice answered. The male voice, Luhan decided.

“How can that be?”

“I do not understand it either.” The man sounded a little disappointed and frustrated. But more than from the sound of his voice, Luhan could feel those emotions wafting around their gradually strengthening connection. Like a trained muscle it seemed to grow with every bit of effort they poured into it.

“Who are you?” Luhan finally asked. He knew the man, but he didn't _who_ it was.

“My name is Sehun. What is yours?” A tinge of curiosity and longing arrived in Luhan's core together with the question.

“I am Luhan. I... I wonder... Are we dreaming?”

“Whether we are dreaming or not... I am certain it is real,” Sehun answered with a note of desire.

“How can you be sure? How can... I be sure that I am not just imagining things?” Luhan had to be certain. He didn't want anything more than for this to be real. He knew Sehun, he wanted him. But he didn't want to fall for an illusion brought forth by his own loneliness and inadequacy.

“I remember the last time we met here. Wherever here is...” Sehun began hesitantly. “I felt you so closely and I recognized you. I wanted to see you again. Before I slept again I concentrated on the connection between us. I am relieved to see it worked.”

Luhan was flattered. And appalled. “Y-You created this?”

“No, I just spent days upon sleepless days trying to find you again.” There was a softness in Sehun's voice that stood entirely at odds with the dark wave of need that clawed itself into Luhan's heart.

The angel's breath hitched. He recognized the taste of the darkness, the specific flavor. Knowing full well what the answer was but hoping for the opposite – perhaps just looking for an excuse to stay – he spoke. “Then you're not a human. What are you?”

Sehun hesitated. Luhan felt fear clinging to the bond and pressed his eyes shut, not that he had seen anything to begin with aside the muffling mist.

“I think you know,” Sehun whispered, his emotions now carefully guarded.

“Tell me,” Luhan insisted.

“You will fight against this connection once you know, won't you?”

“Just tell me!”

“Then I won't. I don't want you to go.”

“Why do you think I would?” Luhan asked, although that the reasoning was quite obvious, even to him.

“Because you're an angel,” Sehun stated solemnly.

“So you knew...”

“I guessed.”

Luhan went quite for a while as the realization of the situation between them came to fruition. Tinged with panic, he considered flinching away from the bond between them – not that he hoped he could flee entirely. Millennia of enmity between angels and demons would leave their mark on his soul despite his current longing that defied all thought and reason.

Sehun must have felt his emotions the same way Luhan could feel his. “Please, don't leave.” He was desperate. “Don't leave me alone. I can't explain what's happening and I don't want to scare you. I just know that I know you. That we're connected and I don't want to lose you. Not... not again. I've lost you before. And without you things are never how they're supposed to be. Please...”

Luhan couldn't help but sob. The sentiment the demon conveyed was so sincere, so raw, that he could feel every word piercing through his supposedly serene, angelic demeanor. The confession echoed everything he himself felt so perfectly, that every panicked thought of leaving evaporated. A sense of relief spread between them, as Luhan felt the emotion being pulled out to Sehun and receiving his in return.

Sehun had experimented with this bond before, so Luhan was curious now. He probed along the connection between them. He could sense no deceit. Corruption, yes – but no ill will. “I am surprised that you don't seem to hate me.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Angels don't hate.”

“That's a lie.”

“Maybe it is. But from the ones around me it seems to me like they just do not feel... anything at all. And I do entirely too much.”

“Always?” Sehun asked with sympathy reaching out to wrap itself around Luhan.

It was no real embrace but the warmest touch the angel had experienced in forever. “Always.”

 

 

~*~

 

** DREAM FIVE **

 

 

Luhan. That was his name. Sehun's tongue formed the syllables again and again as if it were to make the angel appear in front of him. No doubt would his heavenly self be terrified by the world Sehun lived in. For someone who struggled with the little bit of emotion he had not lost yet to those hollow platitudes of the world above, hell would surely be a ghastly sight. Overwhelming and destructive.

Sehun looked around, observing the wild, untamed souls taking whatever they desired. Not caring for a moment what the other soul might want. Not caring what the consequences were. Just as he himself had tried for so long but never finding the satisfaction he was searching. He had found it now.

Today, tonight... he had cared. Truly cared. He had felt Luhan's willingness, his heartbreaking loneliness, his longing. But also his apprehension. To say that they were poles apart was not an understatement. The war between their realms was waging since the dawn of time. Even Sehun's own desire that drowned out almost everything once overcame him, had not been able to fully extinguish a moment of doubt and hate for the being he was bound to. It was in their nature and  under different circumstance the instinct that would have kept both of them alive.

Alive... that was another matter that Sehun started to question. Was it really a life they were living? Their options were limited. Their worlds repetitive. They felt like they didn't belong. Sehun had felt Luhan's grieve when he told him about feeling too much. A concept that did not exist in hell. One could never feel too much.

But one could feel too little. Like Sehun. So, in an abstract sense, he knew why Luhan grieved. And it had pained Sehun as well, for he could sense the depth and the genuineness with which the angel felt and it was all the demon ever wanted to feel in his hellish existence. Every flutter of Luhan's heart when he accepted Sehun's affectionate gestures, was like a caress along their connection. A treasured gesture, that in itself was more satisfying than anything Sehun had ever done here.

The angelic, light touch on his mind, with kindness and warmth, was balm on his over-saturated senses. A soft glow, a guiding light.

And Sehun decided then and there that he would follow it wherever it was.

 

 

~*~

 

 

** DREAM SIX **

 

 

_“Let's run away together!” Luhan suggested with tears in his eyes. “I don't want to lose you. I don't want to die. I don't want_ you _to die.”_

_“Luhan, we have responsibilities. I will be tribe leader soon and so will you.”_

_“I don't want it. I don't want any of it, if I can't have you!” Luhan exclaimed, increasingly desperate._

_Sehun looked down, his dirtied hands reaching out to take Luhan's trembling fingers. He raised them to his lips and kissed them. “You know, I feel the same.”_

_Tears rolled down Luhan's cheeks. “Then why don't you come with me?”_

_“It's not as easy for me as it for you to leave my tribe to its fate.”_

_Luhan huffed. “Easy? You think it's easy? Sehun, this is the hardest decision I made in my entire life. But it is the only decision I can make if I expect to ever be happy again. I can't fight you and I can't kill you. And you know that this exactly what will be expected of us.”_

_“If we work together we will be able to turn the tides, Luhan. Just imagine how we could bring peace where our elders failed,” Sehun suggest with a hopeful look in his eyes._

_Luhan's jaw hardened. “You can only bring peace to people who want it. And our tribes don't. You made sure of that when you killed my brother.”_

_Sehun flinched. “I never meant for that to happen. I'm still sorry.”_

_“I know,” Luhan sighed. “But it happened. Ironically, he was the one who was supposed to rule the tribe. Not me. It would have made our circumstances a bit easier perhaps.”_

_Sehun stepped closer, dry leaves breaking beneath his feet. “I can't run away, Luhan. I feel like, because of my deeds, I have a responsibility toward my people. I have created a terrible situation and I wouldn't be able to face the gods if I didn't own up to my mistakes.” He lifted his hand to caress Luhan's cheek and bent down to place a soft kiss on his lips._

_Luhan lingered and enjoyed the sensation for a while, kissing back softly. Then he turned away and leaned his head against Sehun's chest. “I wish I could be angry or disappointed now. I wish I could insist that I don't understand your reasons. I wish I had the resolve to force to you. But I don't have it. I understand why you can't leave. It's the reason I love you. And now I'm just sad – that this is the way it's going to be. I'm afraid Sehun... so afraid of what will become of us in the future.”_

_Sehun trembled and wrapped his arms around his lover. “Whatever might happen to us, whatever we might be forced to do... never doubt that I love you.”_

_“Never.” Luhan turned his face back up and pressed his mouth against Sehun's passionately. Slowly he pushed Sehun back against a tree and tucked at his clothes._

_Sehun took a shaky breath while he pulled his leather shirt over his head. He was about to dive down for another kiss, when he noticed the frantic look in Luhan's eyes. He took his wrists into his bigger hands and held him in place. “Luhan, stop... Please don't rush things between us. Nothing has changed yet. You can take your time.”_

_“We don't have forever,” Luhan hiccuped. “I want all of you. Everything. All the time. And we don't have that. It's hasn't changed yet, but it will.”_

_Sehun hesitated, considering what to say to his unnerved lover. “It will. But I don't want to the time we have now to be ruined by fear.”_

_Luhan's eyes were big and deep and Sehun loved to lose himself in them. Though, right now he wished he could rip off the veil of sadness that clouded them. “Do you know how hard it is, what you're expecting?” Luhan asked with a small voice._

_“Yes,” Sehun affirmed hoarsely and leaned down to kiss a line along Luhan's neck. “I wish I could do as you say. I wish I could follow you. I wish I could leave it all behind.”_

 

 

~*~

 

 

** DREAM SEVEN **

 

 

Something was different this time, Sehun noted. The veil was clearer, the mist thinner. And he could see. In this shadowy light he could see the other silhouette, already waiting for him.

“Luhan,” he greeted the angel. He seemed to glow, his features illuminated. He was stunning. Familiar yet a sight he would never get used to. His face exactly as it was supposed to be, framed by soft locks and angelic in every sense of the word.

“Sehun,” he was greeted back. Luhan smiled. Sehun's heartbeat quickened.

“I can see you,” Sehun announced. “Can you see me, too?”

“I can, I...” Luhan stopped and eyed the distance between them. He took a step forward. And another.

Sehun's body did not even wait for a command but responded to Luhan's movements the second they happened. Every step was like walking through mud. His feet got dragged down and he had to move with sheer power of will.

The closer he came, the more he could only marvel at Luhan's utter perfection, the lighter his steps became, the less he noticed the dragging forces around him. When he stood in front of him, near enough to touch, he stopped.

Luhan was different, too, he realized. With their bond pulsing so intimately, so closely between them he could feel it with clarity. Luhan was no longer as indecisive as he had been the last time they had dreamed together. His determination beamed brightly inside him and lightened up Sehun with him.

“Sehun, I dreamed of us,” Luhan whispered.

The demon wondered why he phrased it that way. “Like this?” He gestured between them.

“No, I... was actually hoping that you had the same dream,” Luhan looked down and bit his lip. “But apparently not... I think it was a memory. Of our lives. As humans.”

“I do not know any demon that can remember their lives.”

“I do not know any angel. I remembered it for the first time just now. That's why I came to find you.”

Sehun's heart beat loudly. He thought he had been able to figure out some details about their bond and their situation. But Luhan seemed to understand so much more all of a sudden. A nervous shiver ran down Sehun's back. “What was the memory? Did we know each other?”

“Yes, we did. We... were lovers.” Luhan looked up and there was wistfulness, sadness and so, so much love and longing in his eyes. A combination that struck Sehun like lightning. He wanted the pain in those eyes to go away. He had seen this before.

He lifted his trembling hand, shadowed and seemingly dark in contrast to Luhan's light. Luhan saw his hand but didn't move away. Sehun lay his hand on the angel's soft cheek. The touch nearly burned his skin, but it didn't matter.

“We were?” Sehun could barely hear his own words; his eyes were big in amazement.

Luhan leaned into the touch. “Yes,” he breathed and took another step forward and  to placed his forehead slowly against Sehun's chest. “Something happened. Something bad. We lived as enemies, even though we didn't want to.”

“You say the words and I feel like I know what you mean. But I cannot remember.” Sehun took Luhan into his embrace, his source of warmth, his source of light. “I wish I could.”

“I want to show you,” Luhan declared and lifted his own hand to touch Sehun's cheek. The darkly tingling flesh beneath his fingers welcomed the caress. It longed for it and so Luhan gave it what it wanted. The greed Sehun radiated had been frightening last time, this time he knew why and how.

He pressed his lips onto Sehun's and the demon gasped. Immediately he wrapped his arms around Luhan to savor the feeling. A high was carrying him upwards and he never wanted to let go. He needed more. He was so close, but he needed more. He was almost there. Almost where he wanted to be.

Luhan moved his lips softly and his tongue dipped in between Sehun's to play with his tongue. Feelings flashed through the demon, wild – wilder than he had ever experienced them, not in life, not in death. And in between the feelings, were the pictures.

Pictures, sounds, impressions of a world long forgotten. Two young men, set for leadership of their tribes, a rivalry that turned into enmity, a love torn apart, a war waged by world around them and a cage that held them in their places, fear to hold them, fear to restrain them and an ending that was the worst nightmare of them all.

A violent battle, a bloody dispute, two young leaders facing each other, desperation in their eyes but no choice on their hands, swinging weapons and falling tears, spears that pierced each other's hearts.

A look of shock and horror when the realization came, pain spreading through their chests, blood dripping onto dry ground, losing strength in their knees, bodies falling down, facing each other, life fading, regret.

A last hope for an eternity together. And it was not fulfilled.

Until now.

 

Sehun lifted Luhan up into his arms and kissed him deeply. “I love you,” he rasped. “I should've...” Kiss.

“I know.” Bite.

“We should've...” A hand running down Luhan's bare back.

“I know.” A grind against Sehun's erection.

“I'm sorry.” A kiss to Luhan's neck.

“I know,” Luhan moaned and unlocked his legs to pull Sehun to the ground with him.

Sehun hovered above him and kissed down his lover's chest. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

The sensation of lips on skin made Luhan wild. He moaned and he felt ecstasy building up within him. Amplified through Sehun and receiving his passion in return.

They moved together in a steady, hard rhythm, breathed heavily in between their kisses, rocked back and forth and clung to each other – never wanting to let go.

They came hard and brightly – the orgasm blinding them, the bond between term singing. Never had they felt so close to another being before, never so complete.

It was wonderful, all encompassing, but it didn't last.

Sehun dropped next to Luhan and pulled him near, fearing that their connection would break. He kissed down his lover's neck again, wanted him to have a reason to stay at all cost.

Luhan stopped him with a hand in his hair and pulled him up again. “I'm sorry, too. I never wanted to ruin our time we had left. I never meant to strike at you.”

“Please don't apologize. Especially not for that. If I had listened...” Sehun leaned his against Luhan's chest.

Luhan played with Sehun hair and took in the waves of regret and love he felt from Sehun. The love especially. He felt so fulfilled, suddenly. The void in him was fading and fading. “Please don't leave. Be with me. I don't care what it means for the world around us. Let... let us run away together.”

Sehun looked into Luhan's eyes and the sadness was gone. There was hope and it was beautiful. He opened his mouth to answer.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Sehun's hands gripped harshly into the stone walls. They were bloody by now and the higher he climbed, the less they healed. But he didn't care, not anymore. Damn, the consequences. And damn himself, if he didn't make it until the end. The rocks were sharper but his will was sharper. His wings got slashed but he wouldn't need them anymore. The steep path ahead led him through hell in all its most glorious shapes and forms. Its abnormalities and perversions. He didn't look back as he went steadily onward.

 

Luhan looked around, for the last time. He wouldn't miss anything or anyone. If all you were surrounded by was emotionless, there was nothing to get attached to. All that had held him back to this day had been fear. He looked down the abyss. It wasn't the first time that he had considered it, but the dreaded pain of the impact and the unchanging loneliness had ended his thoughts there. But no longer. He would gladly take the pain, for he knew he would not be alone anymore. Sehun would be waiting for him. Luhan took the step forward and fell.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @ the prompter who put up this beautiful quote. I couldn't resist.  
> And thanks @ my friends who gave me feedback on this somewhat experimental writing style that I tried out here for the first time. I hope you guys liked it. :D
> 
> ~ Freeza :D


End file.
